Saturday, January 31, 2009

Game 50; Pens vs. Devils

"That man is a big, scary fella!"

"Bobby Holik. He may be using wood sticks, but he's as thick as a brick."

"There's Eric Godard! He was like Godzilla the other night in that fight! I gotta tell you, oh my God was he scary! The demolition man, Eric Godard... Grabbing those cars and...throwing them up, and stomping on anything. I love it! He is a wrath...of destruction whenever he is out there."

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Game 49; Pens vs. Rangers

Errey: "I would've shoe checked him!"
Steiggy: "Tell them what a shoe check is so they know what you're talking about..."
Errey: " get under the table, throw a little ketchup, some HP sauce, A1 Sauce, HP in Canada...House of Parliament...but you throw a little something on their shoe! And then you tap the glasses. I shoe checked Bob Johnson in the Stanley Cup Finals!"

Ryan checks in from the game with this gem of an overheard quote: "Oh yeah! How was your big sex weekend?"

"Is that a sixth goal or a sick goal? Are you kidding me?!?!?!?"

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Game 48; Pens vs. Whalers

"Evgeni Malkin stayed with this puck like nobody's business!"

" talk about thick guys!"

"He looked like Arturs Irbe with that pillow! That mattress inside!"

Note to crowd: why were you booing the home team at the end of a 2-1 game when Cam Ward played lights out in the third period to prevent a tying goal?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Game 47; Pens vs. Rangers

Two things:

1) Good signing of Wade Redden in the offseason, Rangers. So with that contract, did you think you were signing the Wade Redden of 3-4 years ago? You know, the one that made the Sens pick him over Chara because they couldn't keep both? Six years for $39 million... Don't worry Rangers fans, he only has another 5 seasons taking up a large chunk of the salary cap. And he only apparently has a partial no-trade clause (he wanted a full one, but apparently Sather only would let him submit a list of teams he would be willing to go to if they occasion ever came up that they wanted to trade him). Plus, there were rumors (unsubstantiated and probably untrue) in Ottawa that he was a coke fiend...

2) How does Mike Milbury still have a job? He has been consistently awful for the past several seasons a commentator (before anyone says it: no, it's not because he criticizes the Pens. I don't care about that. His opinions on the sport in general are abysmal.)

This is like Matt Millen becoming an NFL commentator despite his terrible front office tenure (Good idea NBC. Are we supposed to take him seriously and listen to anything he has to say now?). Just to refresh some of Mike Milbury's greatest hits as Isles GM:

17-Nov-96: Islanders trade Darius Kasparaitis and Andreas Johansson to the Penguins for Bryan Smolinksi.

6-Feb-98: Islanders trade D Bryan McCabe, C Todd Bertuzzi and a third-round draft pick(LW Jarkko Ruutu) to Vancouver for Trevor Linden.

Islanders trade RW Jean-Pierre Dumont & NYI 5th round pick in 1998 Entry Draft (later traded to PHI. PHI selected Francis Belanger) to the Chicago Blackhawks for C Dmitri Nabokov.

Islanders trade G Tommy Salo to Edmonton for F Mats Lindgren & EDM's 8th round choice in 1999 Entry Draft(D Radek Martinek).

24-Jun-00: New York Islanders traded Olli Jokien and Roberto Luongo to the Florida Panthers for Mark Parrish and Oleg Kvasha.

23-Jun-01: Ottawa Senators traded Alexei Yashin to the New York Islanders for Zdeno Chara, Bill Muckalt and 1st round selection (Jason Spezza) in 2001. (We should also add the subsequent 10-year deal they signed Yashin to right after this)

Milbury's Legacy:

Were it not for a series of owners who skimped on payroll and some outright dumb trades by Milbury, there might be a second dynasty on Long Island today. Consider the following roster:

Goal: Roberto Luongo, Defence: Bryan McCabe, Wade Redden, Zdeno Chara and Eric Brewer. Forwards: Olli Jokinen, JP Dumont, Todd Bertuzzi, Jason Spezza (selected by Ottawa with the first round pick moved by Milbury for Alexei Yashin), Tim Connolly, Taylor Pyatt, Raffi Torres, Michael Rupp.

He also passed up the chance to draft either Dany Heatley or Marian Gaborik in 2000 to select Rick DiPietro, which wouldn’t have been necessary if he’d held onto Luongo.

Almost all of those players were moved, not because they were expensive to retain since almost all of them were just young, affordable players back then, but because Milbury just couldn’t resist making deals.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Game 46: Pens vs. Coach Bombay

Errey: "You know he was pitchforking that hay in Regina, Saskatchewan!"
Steiggy: "Yeah...and Jordan Staal was lifting those...big...slabs of sod in Thunder Bay..."

Errey: "We need Hot Lips Houlihan!"
Steiggy: "We were gonna try to play the theme from MASH tonight, but you're not allowed to do that."
(camera shows Chris Stewart)
Errey: "Who's that?"
Steiggy: "That's Chris Stewart."
Errey: "Well I know, but in the MASH theme of things..."
Steiggy: "I guess Kadar is Radar."
Errey: "Who's Alan Alda?"
Steiggy: "Dan Potash sounds like Alan Alda sometimes when I hear him on the radio..."

"This is just what the doctor pun intended there..."

"His wife can glide! Kristi Yamaguchi, are you kidding me?!?!?!?"

"You know Ducks can't fly in this weather! They should be down south!"

On some dude's hat:
Errey: "You're not going to find that in the OC!" (editor's note: don't call it that...)
Potash: "You know what though, you wear that in LA and you start a trend. It may be 90 degrees, but if Paris Hilton wears that, everyone will wear it."
Errey: "The question is, how is Paris going to wear it?"

On Cooke barely missing a hat trick:
"We would've had that hat we were looking at!!! It would've been on the ice!"

"You've got golfers on your mind with Bobby Jones. You've got Mickelson out here, of course you've got golfers!"

Errey: "Oh man...It's beautiful...and that (Parros' mustache) is beautiful!"
Steiggy: "You ever been to Scenery Hill?"
Errey: "I don't know, but I had a 'stache like that once. Well it was kinda a rip off of that. THAT is a mustache!"
Steiggy: "You can see it from Scenery Hill!"
Errey: "Actually...I got lost there once. Got off the wrong exit trying to find an...indoor soccer facility."

Errey: "It's like that old hockey pic everyone's got in their rec room! The wide stance!
Steiggy: "Atually, he looks like Darkwing Duck* to me. A guy...the mascot for the Ducks who comes out of the ceiling. Is that his name?"
Errey: "I have noooooo idea."

*Actual name of Ducks mascot: Wild Wing. Whether or not he kidnaps small children during games is unknown.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Game 45; Pens vs. Caps

"He scored a beautiful goal last butter! Carving through a couple of defensemen."

"Isn't it great to have that internet out there?"

"He is a wild stallion, there's no question about it."

To summarize tonight's game: "There goes Sidney Crosby..."

"There was a delayed penalty and then they pulled their goaltender...can you get seven guys on the ice, Steiggy?"

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Game 44; Pens vs. Flyers

"Thank you Mr. Shero for the new contract. The handcuffs are off. He's got buttery hands!"

"It's time for our Subway sandwich...and it's a knuckle sandwich!! Courtesy of Eric Godard. You got about 10 meatballs on that one, too."

"Staal and Kennedy...they looked each other in the eyes there. I'm not trying to get soft with you here..."

"You're not going to see Brooks Orpik upset the apple cart here..."

"The ollllld Ulf Dahlen move..." (editor's note: I have not heard that name in years and was unaware he even had a "move")

Jesus...this is the most times Ulf Dahlen's name has been used in the past 5 years...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Game 43; Pens vs. Nordiques

"Joe Sakic. Quit messing around with those snow blowers, Joe."

Has anyone been keeping track of how many times the phrase "center drive" has been used the past three or so games? Estimated count: 372

Steiggy: "Hal Gill with the reach around on TJ Hensick."

"There's a lot of girth out there."

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Game 42; Pens vs. Preds

"Who knows what goalies think about? I try not to think about what they think about, Steiggy."

Errey: "They're a different breed, goalies. Except, if you're listening Wendell Young, you were pretty normal."
Steiggy: "Really?!?!?!?"

"It went off Jason Arnott, did it not?" (much funnier with the name being pronounced "Are-Not" all night)

"You were drinking your saki there, weren't you?"

Third period at Hough's, so I got nothing else...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Game 41; Pens vs. Thrashers

"And then he's going to be called for a...hold. He likes him! It's just a hug!"

"That's Crabb! Clawing his way into Sidney Crosby's territory!"

Monday, January 5, 2009

Game 40; Pens vs. Rangers

Stupid Versus...

But just so more people see this clip...