Game 58; Pens vs. Canes/Stripes

TK is back! And it's the return of "the Next Ronnie Francis" from the healthy scratch list...


On Nathan Smith and Convoy: "I think they may get a little dancing before we're done."


"Really...it wasn't a Milli Vanilli thing?"


"An icing as Gonchar nonchalants his way..." (Editor's note: nonchalants? I know nonchalance is a word...but nonchalants? As in a verb?)


"A lot of resistance there with Kadar...pulling him...like a plow-horse around the ice. Are you kidding me?!?!?"


"The Staal's...They'd like to use him on the sod farm the way he's working!"


Amazing...FSN put up a "tale of the tape" for the Laraque fight and for once Chris Thorburn wasn't listed...


Dear lord...did Brooks Orpik just score? The apocalypse is upon us...


"Malkin grabbed the puck! Malkin got the puck out of the net! That's been eh that's how long it's been for Orpik! Shovels it to the net! We........ Last night we showed Orpik's goal from 2005. We opened the can of worms...Steiggy. We brought something back to life...from the dead! And that was Brooks Orpik...and he probably cannot believe it [...] I almost had a heart attack there!" (Words cannot describe how excited Errey was for this)


"Brooks Orpik, putting the dagger into Cam Ward." (Italics do not do justice the voice he just used...)


"The guys in the truck are giggling right now!"


"I do my pre-med classes sometimes. I try to figure it all out."


"He got discombobulated there, Steiggy!"


"He did some pretty good fishing in front of that net. [...] And put it in the ocean."


"Look at him fish with that looooong fishing rod!"


"A lot of irony in this hockey game." (Editor's note: no there isn't. Someone please grab Bob a dictionary.)


Errey: "This is like a pit-stop here!"
Steiggy: "They love their pit-stops down here in Carolina..."
Errey: "hahaha yeah. Hey Tom Barrasso! He was into some racing. But it didn't work out..."


Steiggy: "We knew we were in the South."
Errey (in his best Southern accent): "Yep..."


"All these...all these food sponsors they're...they're going to help me out when I'm between the benches."


Uh oh...the next Ronnie Franchise has gone down...


"Time is certainly ticking down on the Penguins. You're cooking your egg...you got your three minute timer out, Steiggy. You can just start it now."


Terrible officiating tonight...

Game 57; Pens vs. Bruins

Once again, Errey between the glass = Keith at the game.

Things learned at the game:

Times it is appropriate to "SHOOT THE GODDAMN PUCK YA FUCKIN' JAG OFF!":
1) When stopping a clearing attempt on your backhand at the point.
2) With two defenders charging you in your shooting lane while at the point.
3) Anytime you happen to touch the puck and your last name is "Gonchar."

"Dan Onorato...cocksucker..."


Errey quote courtesy of a Marcus phone call: "Did he just say 'how is a 269 lbs. man just going to slip it in the back door like that?'"

Top jerseys seen at the game:
#48 Tyler Kennedy (really? I like TK too...but enough to purchase a jersey?)
#26 Ronald Petrovicky
#43 Tomas Surovy

Game 56; Pens vs. Flyers

"I think this is the one gorilla on the Penguins' back, having to beat this Flyers hockey team."


On the Ruutu fight: "That was pretty even-Steven on that one."


"hahahahaha..." (yes, this was random laughter as Steiggy was talking. I have absolutely no idea what he was laughing at...)


"Who is the Malkin in the middle there?"


"He loves that Fiji water! .....he doesn't just drink any water!"


On Conklin getting his stick stuck in the zamboni door: "He put the credit card right in the slot!"


"...and Malkin is holding the goodie bag!


Steiggy: "Malkin is going to be the McDonald's player of the century if he keeps playing like this!"

Game 55; Pens vs. Kings

I ended up at this game, so I got nothing. Leave a comments for any gems that I missed.

Though being surrounded by idiots didn't help my sanity at the game. I will leave with a panicked quote from not one, but two people around me when Danny Sabs left the net on a delayed penalty:

"Where's the goalie? Where's the goalie?!?!?"

Shoot me now...

Game 54; Pens vs. Isles

Wait...Marc Bergevin is in the Lemieux box?


"The olllllllllll' Murphy dump!"


Steiggy: "The ultimate Murphy dump was back in the playoffs in '91..." (Did this story have any point?)


Errey: "Remember when Trottier grabbed the Cup and slid across that tarp at PNC Park? That was incredible!"
Steiggy: "That was Three Rivers Stadium. One of the great moments in celebratory history..."


"Penguins power play en fuego!"


"Find that Wes Welker underneath!"


Steiggy: "Time for a Corona timeout."
Errey: "Well I am thirsty!"


"Where'd he find those hands? ......BING!"

Game 53; Pens vs. Devils

So due to having to watch this in a bar due to lack of Versus at the house, I now present to you the top quotes overheard by Justin and I at Ruggers:

"I'm going to go home, watch Higher Learning, and drink some beers." (words cannot express how mind blowing this was to hear)


"She said she was going to bring over a pack of cigarettes and a six-pack. How are you going to turn that down?"

Game 52; Pens vs. Hurricanes

Steiggy (on Barasso): "Tommy wasn't very cordial when we tried talking to him today..." (really though, what was he expecting from Barasshole?)
Errey: "Hey, Ty Conklin took his #35. Maybe he's upset about that!"


"We've been waiting a couple years for this one!" (Errey on the Cole/Orpik fight)


On Ray Whitney: "He's a shifty little guy like a waterbug."


"Oh Steiggy, you can't be dipsy-doodling around your own net like Malkin did there!"


"The corner man, Chris Stewart, is working on Max Talbot. You don't want to ruin his modeling career, Steiggy."


Wait...did Errey just say that Kristi Yamaguchi started "firing pucks" around at a San Jose Sharks practice once?


"There's Sidney and Mario. One's drinking water and one's drinking wine. Let's guess which one is which!"


Woah...they just showed a shot between periods of the concession area and there was a guy wearing a...Konstantin Koltsov jersey?!?!?!?!? Someone actually purchased one of those?


"It's like he had a big red snapper there, Steiggy!" (This needs further explanation...Talbot's stick was stuck in the skates of Mike Commodore, who is known for his big, red hair. I'm not sure whether this makes Errey's joke better or worse...)

...and the follow up: "Talbot with the harpoon in the penalty box"


Ray Whitney? Steiggy now agrees he is "a waterbug."


On Laraque: "But he's svelte this year!"