Games 35 through 39

Errey Blog gone skiing.

Maybe Ryan will pick up my slack, maybe not...

Game 34; Pens vs. ex-Pens

"This is like a bunch of vultures on a dead animal!"

Game 33; Pens vs. Sabres

These Versus announcers are terrible...

Where are the stories about bears eating baby moose? Come on!

Game 32; Pens vs. Leafs

"...and Siefers couldn't decipher what was going on."


This game was too depressing to pay close attention to, so I got nothing else...

Game 31; Pens vs. Why is there a hockey team in Atlanta?

"The key for the Penguins is to jump on Ottawa. Maybe Ottawa, they're having a tough time... oh, sorry. Atlanta..."


"Tim Wallace was telling us today he was on the golf course watching a bear eat a baby moose and he went right up to it! What are you thinking, Tim?!?!?! He said, 'I don't know it wasn't a very smart idea.' Blood all over the bear... Is this too descriptive for you right now? Sorry. Turn your sound down at home, folks. Sorry about that kids."
(This is an early nominee for story of the year)


Steiggy: "A bear, eating a baby moose, on the golf course..."


"The moose must have gotten hit. He must have shanked one."

Game 30; Pens vs. Flyers

Whoops. Pass...

Game 29; Pens vs. Isles

"I had to sign a waiver to sit between the benches. I had to sign on the dotted line!"


"It goes right by that glove again. Somebody's gotta get some fishin' line or something into Joey McDonald's glove!"


"These are tape measure shots, Steiggy…You can get your tape measure out and you, uhh, might run out of metal."


"You can only control what you can control."


Steiggy: "Remember that movie Mystery, Alaska...which I thought was a terrible movie by the way..."


Steiggy: "What was better: Mystery, Alaska or Sudden Death?"
Errey: "Uh...Sudden Death had a sudden death."


"Uh oh! Is there any hats left? If you kept it on the first time, well, shame on you...but...we love to see you puttin' it out there the second time! And I hope they're going to be down... Oh we got bags! We got everything coming down here!"


Steiggy: "...and the fans are chanting 'we want 10'!"
Errey: "It used to be 'we want chili!'"


"Everyone's going to go home without their lids on tonight, Steiggy. And no bags! We saw a lot of bags come on the ice...:"


And some more thanks to Nick since I was on the phone for half the game:

"I'll tell you right now, Matt Cooke is a hockey player."


"I can't wait to see the Alaskan crab up in Atlanta!"


"No… I think the election screwed up interest in Alaska…"


"...and Dupius came in the back door to tickle that twine."


(in reference to Curry falling on his stomach): "Orpik can-opened him!"


"Gotta give some credit to the ice crew… you don't score 8 without good ice!"


"All those hats are gonna be in the Sykora locker room after the game."


"Billy Guerin just can't do enough to get thrown outta this game."


Steiggy: "Billy Guerin is going down the runway."
Errey: "Ha ha... the early shower!"

Game 28; Pens vs. The Empty Seats of Newark

Entirely too many new people and new numbers. So many questions...




"Watch these stars play, you'll learn a lot. I wish I would've learned that!"


On Gionta: "Orpik took that license plate number...and it was a small plate."


Steiggy: "Speaking of snow blowing, did you hear about Joe Sakic?" (Best transition since "Speaking of cancer, Jason Blake...")


Steiggy: "Malkin roaming around like a shark..."


"Doesn't give you the right to punch someone in the squash. Talk about squashes! Holik in the box..."

Game 27; Pens vs. Sabres

Stupid Versus...

Game 26; Pens vs. Senators

"That's a lot of flesh!"


I planned on watching the rest of this game on the DVR after only seeing most of the first period, but it's probably never going to happen...

Game 25; Pens vs. Canes

Steiggy: "The shot clock is difficult to find here. We need a periscope...
Errey: "It's right there, Steiggy."
Steiggy: "Oh yeah, it's right there..."
Errey: "You're trying to look through banners, and everything else and it's two-inches from you here!"
(Insert Errey singing/humming here)


I love Melichar...


Q: Can we go a single game against Carolina without Ray Whitney being called a waterbug?
A: No.


Steiggy: "Ron Francis doesn't need a system. He has a system in his head."


On that note, it's Hough's time...

Game 24; Pens vs. Rangers

"It took a while, but the laundry's off!"


"Oh man, he curled and dragged it around Koharski!"


Steiggy: "That's how you know you've arrived, when you get your own bobblehead."


"It's okay if it's Bobby Orr, but not Colton!"


"It's time for a star player to put his name in the headlights. Headlights? What are those boards called in...Times Square?"

Game 23; Pens vs. Devils

...

Game 22; Pens vs. Sabres

"24...the Flower! Getting old!"


"It's the tryptophan curse, Steiggy! Everybody's full and they can't move. They were all shopping at four in the morning! Weren't you at Wal-Mart?"


"There's nothing like a free meal! I know...I know..."


If I have to hear this goddamn Clarks song one more time I might end up killing someone...


"Like a golfer. He kept his head down and boy did he swing. He looked like John Daly." (Hopefully not like this John Daly...)


"Think he ever makes himself dizzy, Afinogenov?"


To clarify...is John Curry unconscious right now?


Yep...unconscious...


I am guessing he is now "conscious."

Game 21; Pens vs, Isles

"We saw Scuderi last year have his finger explode..."


"It hit Sabourin right in the mask. He's got a frog on the side of it and it jumped right off of it!"


"Pat Sajak's in the house here in Long Island tonight!"


"2-0, N-Y-I."


Okay...so I thought Sabourin's new mask would mark the end of the Creepy Baby Mask era...but holy hell...did anyone else see the back of his new mask?!?!?!? That might be creepier than the old one...


Steiggy: "He got the wind knocked out of him."
Errey: "You mean the stuffing? Oh no, that's tomorrow..."


"Exactly what the Islanders weren't looking for...unless they were looking to go shorthanded because maybe they have a better chance of scoring that way..."


Steiggy: "Evgeni Malkin is the McDonald's player of the game."
Errey: "Is that M for McDonald's or Malkin?"

Game 20; Pens vs. Canucks

"Steiggy, it's great being down here! You know I love this stuff!"


"And you really miss Matt Cooke, because he gets them the ugly way. You dump it in, you work it out. They're going to find some other plumbers to get it done."


On Boucher saving all press clippings written about him during his career:
"Doesn't everyone do that? Haven't you seen my bathroom wallpaper, Steiggy?"


On Letang without his helmet:
"He's like Randy Carlyle back there!"


"He's staring down everything he sees in white. He's even staring me down! I gotta change my shirt!"

Game 19; Pens vs. Thrashers

As my slacking/inability to post goes on, the number of followers I have continues to increase. Weird...

Hopefully Saturday I will be able to actually a) watch the game, and b) watch the game not in a bar and with sound.

What can I say? Grad school + somewhat finding a life = bad for Errey blog...

Game 18; Pens vs. Wild

Multiple gripes with this game:

1) Pens lose in a shootout.

2) It's on Versus.

3) Mikko Koivu scores a goal the day after I drop him from my fantasy hockey team.

Game 17; Pens vs. Sabres

Errey Blog MIA...

Game 16; Pens vs. Flyers

I saw about 2 seconds of this game, so I got nothing.

Ryan, anything?

Game 15; Pens vs. Red Wings

At least Errey was on NHL on the Fly last night...

Game 14; Pens vs. Isles

"He's got more feeling in his hands than most people, Steiggy!"


"Talbot just got high sticked. Right in the, uh...fu-manchu!"


"I wonder what apparatus he has underneath that mitt..."


"We have no idea whether it's his fingers, his palm, the hand part..." (Ed. note: the hand part??!?!?)


"Kennedy loves those wraparounds. Give him a bad angle shot and he'll take it!"


"Tyler Kennedy...it looks like he's got a deuce!"


"Look at this! Fallsies!"


"Protect that puck, folks!"

Game 13; Pens vs. Oilers

"A little conversation between MacIntyre and Godard...and the conversation leads to a dance!"


"Well thanks, Danny, you're not fat...unless it's p-h-a-t. That phat!"


Heading to Hough's for the third period, so you're on your own...

Game 12; Pens vs. Blues

Errey Blog gone fishin'...

Anyone got anything? Since I got nothing, I'll just share this picture instead...

Game 11 - Pens vs. Coyotes

Pre-game:
Sweet interview by Danny Potash with Mr. Kennedy

1st Period:
Steigy: "He's built like a fire plug!"

Errey: "Who taught him that? We know who taught him that. It was the MASTER! Ulf Samuellsson."

Errey: "He waited almost a week to make that shot." (Was he referring to Bryzgalov's absence from the lineup or the Penguins' seeming complete unwillingness to shoot the puck?)

Recap: Terrible period. No energy, no passion, no puck support, no forecheck. 15 shots in 5 periods now. That's 3 a period. When you're having as much trouble generating offense as the Pens have been, you can't pass up shots. On the plus side, the Pens are playing excellent team defense. They give up a lot of shots, but not a lot of good scoring chances. The good scoring chances they do give up are shut down by incredible play from both goaltenders. The offense will come. What's impressive to me is playing such incredible D without the two best defenders.

2nd Period:
Why are the Coyotes playing the Ghostbusters theme song over the arena PA?

Errey: "I know he didn't play much baseball growing up!...at least, I don't think so."

Errey: "We talked about his groin."

Errey: "There's Gretzky wearing his...cancer...tie."

Recap: That was a much better period in everything but the goal count (unfortunately, that's all that counts). The Pens played like you would expect them to against a weaker opponent like the Coyotes. Unfortunately, lackadaisacal clearing attempts during the first PP and a bad bounce on the second PP cost the Pens. I wasn't particularly fond of either call that put the Pens on the PK, but they'll just have to get it back. You have the feeling right now that if they can keep their level of play up, they will ultimately win out. The Pens had more shots that period than they did in the 5 periods of hockey before that. Intermission quote from Errey: "The Penguins, Steiggy, gotta put the pumpkin in the basket!"

3rd Period:
Errey: "Get well, Mrs. Steiggy!"

Errey: "If he doesn't go up the butt of Talbot..."

Errey: [about Kurt Sauer] Wow, he's sour now!"
Steigy: "Ha! Ahh, that's beautiful."

Errey: "When I say 'hilarious', it really isn't THAT funny."

Game. 4-1 Yotes
Recap: All-around a pretty miserable road trip for the Pens. They need to try to get a point in St. Louis on Saturday night and then just get home and regroup. There's not much to say about tonight. Pretty miserable to watch Phoenix thoroughly beat your favorite team, but they simply outworked the Penguins. The officiating was lacking, but the Pens didn't deserve to win anyway, so there's nothing to complain about. Goligoski's having a tough stretch, but he's learning through trial by fire right now. He'll cost you now, but be better for it later on. Any possible injury to Sid is a big loss (obviously). I'm not sure they're in a position right now to carry on without him as they did last season. To keep it in perspective though, the Pens hovered around .500 all the way through to Thanksgiving last season, before turning the season around. Even Detroit lost 7 in a row last season. On the plus side, Satan scored an amazing goal (and is on pace for 30-40 goals), Letang had a brilliant defensive play against Boedker, and Malkin tried to singlehandedly win the game for the Pens, offensively and defensively. Unfortunately for the Pens right now, Letang and Malkin aren't enough to carry them to victory.

Pre-gaming, Game #11 - Pens vs. Phoenix Coyotes

Hey all. My name's Ryan and I (and possibly our friend Nick) will be doing the posts for the next two games while Keith is in Philly, presumably celebrating the Phillies' World Series title....or just visiting friends, whatever. (Props to Philly by the way. This win only leaves them 7 major sports titles behind our fair city. Then again, who needs championships when you have murders)

Pens vs. Coyotes

The game will be in HD tonight on FSN. Both teams are going with their starters, so Fleury will be in net against Ilya Bryzgalov. The Pens juggled their lines today and will roll with these tonight:

Dupuis-Crosby-Fedotenko
Cooke-Malkin-Sykora
Mr. Kennedy-Staal-Satan
Bissonnette-Zigomanis-Godard

Talbot is still out with an undisclosed injury. Dupuis was hit by a shot in practice and his status is up in the air. The Pens have recalled Chris Minard from the Baby Pens, so maybe not a great sign for Dupuis. Minard, by the way, has 7 goals and 6 assists in 7 games to lead Wilkes-Barre and is a plus 9.

Some numbers for the game tonight:
Malkin is second in the NHL in points with 15
Crosby is fifth with 13
Fleury is fourth in save percentage at .933 and sixth in goals against at 2.17
Olli Jokinen leads the Coyotes with 7 points (1 goal)
Shane Doan leads the Coyotes with 4 goals; Mikkel Boedker and Peter Mueller are the only other Coyotes with more than 1, with 3 each
The Pens are 5th on the PK and 7th on the PP
The Coyotes are 22nd on the PK and 26th on the PP (Phoenix is also worst in the league on the PK on home ice at just 63.6%)
Phoenix is worst in the league at faceoffs as a team winning only 41.6% of the time
The Pens are, shockingly, 10th at 50.8%

Thoughts
This game seems like a solid matchup for the Pens. Phoenix has struggled offensively recently, as well. The new lines appear to give substantially more balance to the lineup. After struggling to put up 11 shots against San Jose (did that game remind anyone else of the first two games of the Stanley Cup Finals last year?), the Pens will be in a shooting mindset (i hope). The Coyotoes D took a shot when they dealt Ballard and Boynton to Florida in the Olli Jokinen deal. The Pens should be able to put pucks on net and score some goals tonight. The Coyotes, offensively, are very young with four players being 20 or younger. The talented group of young guns includes 18 year old Mikkel Boedker, 19 year old Kyle Turris, 20 year old Peter Mueller and 20 year old Viktor Tikhonov. That last name should ring a bell with long time hockey fans (or anyone who's seen the movie "Miracle"); Viktor is the namesake of his grandfather, the legendary Soviet Red Army coach who was the victim of Herb Brooks and the Miracle on Ice 1980 US Olympic team. The Pens are in a good position to end their losing ways tonight. Oh yeah, and I guarantee Daniel Carcillo fights Paul Bissonnette, Eric Godard, or both tonight. Also watch out for Kurt Sauer and Brian McGrattan in the combat arena.

Game 10; Pens vs. Sharks

After Steiggy mentioned the ages of Rob Blake and Jeremy Roenick:
"hahaha...they need a couple of walkers out there right now!"

Game 9; Pens vs. Rangers

"Something is going right on that sod farm!"


Errey: "Drury couldn't put it in the ocean right now."
Steiggy: "Gomez will now try to put it in the ocean."


"Steiggy, I'm getting hungry! There's a lot of food being eaten around the National Hockey League tonight with all 30 teams playing!"


"The t-shirts! The nachos! That doesn't even account for all the food we're eating up here!"


On Orpik: "Look at those eyes. Steely..."


"Look at that chinstrap! He looks like a Mountie in Canada!"

Game 8; Pens vs. Canes

Steiggy: "Students love pizza, we know that, so you couldn't pick a better food to take to them...they don't get enough of that, right Bob?"
Errey: "You can never get enough!"


Errey: "There's Max Talbot sporting some facial hair. He figures that fu-manchu is going to help him out a little bit [...]"
Steiggy: "Maybe he's like Samson, Bob. If you cut his hair..."
Errey: "I think that's what he's thinking!"


"What's so amazing about that, Steiggy? That Mario's coaching? He should be! He knows everything...more...more than the rest of us! Get out there and disperse that...talent. That wealth of knowledge!"


"Well [Orpik]'s tougher than the boards. No doubt about it."


"He's got the pads on his skates, but not on his chest!"


"Boy, the Penguins really put their work boots on!"

Game 7; Pens vs. Bruins

It's the return of the creepy baby mask!


"Well it's not going to be Savran on Sports Beat, it's going to be Sabourin on Sports Beat if he keeps playing this way!"


"Chara was standing on the red line touching the puck at the blue line! What reach!"


Errey: "A six-pack is a washboard...it's your stomach now. So people won't know what you're talking about, Steiggy! So yeah...beer!"
Steiggy: "Back then hockey players drank more beer than they drink now"
Errey: "That's right. That's why they didn't have a six-pack back then...they drank a six-pack!"
Steiggy: "That's true!"
Errey: "...or more!"


"Folks, you can't look through trees like that."


"[Letang]'s got that slick way about him where he's gel. He's like liquid gel. His shoulders can go and his hands can go...but he can still make the plays."


"I've never seen Pascal Dupuis make roadkill out of someone like that!"


"Oh, no! The linesman went down too! Same guy, Steiggy! He got hammered in that! He got sandwiched! Subway sammich!"


"Like a cobra...he just sucks you right into that."


Errey: "Oh boy, so when's he gonna play again?
Steiggy: "See you in a month!"

Game 6; Pens vs. Leafs

"He fires this hockey club up, Max Talbot. He's sporting some facial hair. He said, 'I'm gonna turn this thing around.' He doesn't like the start he's gotten off to. So...you know...Max likes beards. He likes fu-manchu's, and he can grow a 'stache with the best of the them. He can grow it in a day or two!"


Little known fact: Curtis Joseph is still an NHL goaltender...


"I hope his friends by their own tickets, because that would be a costly season for Mr. Thomas."


"He's so good at swooping. The big pterodactyl is good with the angles."


"We gotta go back to that picture because...I mean, they stuck a bowl on him and cut his hair. Did you see that bowl cut?!?!? That was oneosfsfsfg...I mean...you know, I mean, I don't have the greatest hair, Steiggy, but uh, that was...that was a tough looking cut!"

Game 5; Pens vs. Caps

Errey: "Steiggy, I won't take that as a slight by the way...greatest left wing ever..."
Steiggy: "Well you're my favorite left wing ever!"
Errey: "Aww, thanks Steiggy."
Steiggy: "You and Bourquey. I gotta include him too."


"Back to chemistry class: force = mass * acceleration"

Game 4; Pens vs. Flyers

Stupid Versus...

Random side note: bravo to the two people who found their way to this blog by searching the keywords, "game 69."

Also funny (though for a completely different reason) is the person who found the blog by using the keywords, "'Murphy Dump' icing."

Game 3; Pens vs. Devils

"You think you can touch your toes? Obviously Rob Scuderi can!"

I cannot remember anything else and forgot to write stuff down. So yeah, that's all I got...

Game 2; Pens vs. Senators

"Was that from the Abba concert, Steiggy?"


Errey: Maybe it's those tighter jerseys, not those baggy ones they had a couple of years ago!
Steiggy: There are some holes now!
Errey: Especially in the Swiss ones, Steiggy!


"The Penguins were on that scavenger hunt...did they have to find any goals on that scavenger hunt?"

Game 1: Pens vs. Senators

"Goligoski in his civies tonight..."


"Ottawa Senators look like tails wagging the dog there!"


"He can squirt water through his teeth as well, Steiggy!"


"Chris Kelly is checking his faculties right now...he thought he had him lined up from here to Stockholm!"

T-minus 24 days...or something close to that...

I suggest muting your speakers before watching the first video...

Regardless, I am pumped for Matt Cooke being the new Jarkko.

Pens vs. Flyers; Game 2

Yep...

Pens vs. Rangers; Game 5

Man that was sweet.

A couple thoughts/questions:

1) I really wish Marian Hossa would stop choking in the playoffs. We would be so much better off with Crusher and Colby right now...

2) How does new Edge Shave Gel work? I'm a bit unclear on that...

Pens vs. Rangers; Game 4

Get well soon, Sean! (Was this wrong of me? Eh...I'll just use any excuse I can to post this video...)


And also...

Pens vs. Rangers; Game 3

"Their defense are just like...TREES in front of Marc-Andre Fleury!"


"You could hear him coming from, uh, Madison Avenue there!"


"When you get a high sticking on Hal Gill, you're really getting your stick up. He's a tall man!"


Did anyone else see Gorgeous Georges kiss Potash? That was fabulous. Someone get that up on youtube...


"Rest that groin up!"


"...you can whip it like a jai-lai player."


"They couldn't move their feet! It looked like they were stuck in cement...It was like John Gotti got a hold of them or something! Can you imagine?!?!?"


So I have to ask...what's up with Jagr and his Hitler mustache? I mean, I guess you could say it's an extension of his stupid soul patch (editor's note: never grow a soul patch...), but even still...

Pens vs, Senators; Game 4

Okay...I really don't get the whole "booing other team's stars" thing. What did Crosby do to Ottawa that he gets booed every time he touches the puck? I understand Pens fans booing Derian Hatcher when he touches the puck. For a while I understood booing Jagr (which just seems ridiculous nowadays. Let it go, people). I just don't get random cities booing stars (Crosby, Ovechkin, etc) whenever they touch the puck. Especially since Crosby plays better when he gets mad/challenged. Do people really think it will throw a good player off their game? To summarize: stupid. (Of course, I'm also an advocate of never booing the home team...which not many people ever agree with me on. Will booing make them play better? No. Will cheering them on when they're struggling and needing support help them play better? A lot more likely than being negative.)


"His arms are going to fall off! It's a shooting gallery out there!"


Steiggy: "He is a man of sartorial splendor, Evgeni Malkin."


So if there was one word to describe Petr Sykora's stick, it would be _______.


"The kids in amateur have a stop sign on their back. Do they need it here for the Ottawa Senators?"


"What are you telling me? A couple detentions for Gary?"


Okay...watching the game on my DVR screwed me and I missed the last 5 minutes or so of the game as I didn't plan ahead and record whatever was on afterwards. Post anything I missed. Also, to Ryan: I missed the quotes you texted me about ("boiling an egg behind the net" and the maid comment). I'm hoping someone will post those in the comments.


So what did we learn tonight? Evgeni Malkin throws away Petr Sykora's shoes on a daily basis.

Pens vs. Senators; Game 3

Gary Roberts on Sean Avery's jackass-ery:
Pittsburgh veteran Gary Roberts at first didn't want to even comment on it before finally saying as he walked away from me: "He's an idiot. That's my quote."


So just to clarify: Are we really going to go through 3 of the first 4 games of the playoffs without HD? Were all the HD trucks tied up at the Masters or something? In the immortal words of GOB, "Come on!"


Steiggy: "They have an actual Senator out on the ice...or someone posing as one" (in regards to the guy dressed as their logo...I'll leave it up to the reader to determine which of Steiggy's options is more plausible)


"The Penguins have talked about opening up the legs of Gerber."


"I love when the referees pick up the twig and...start hopping." (did he say hopping there?)


I wish there were a way to wager on things like, "Bryan Murray complains about officiating even though Chris Neil keeps punching people to get thrown in the box."


"There's some garbage on the ice. The 'classy' fans in Ottawa. Not all of them... It only take a few dodos."

Pens vs. Senators; Game 2

"He overtook McAmmond like he was a midget player going against a pee-wee!"


"He almost made you eat your words, Steiggy!"


"He may be in the wrong kitchen right now."


"Bass replaced fish [...] I don't what they have next, trout?" (No idea on that first sentence...)


"It won't go back to small. It will just stay big!"


I have no idea how to transcribe Errey singing the music they play when Ottawa's ice crew comes out...let's just say it was phenomenal...


"In game one we saw Fleury give Lapointe the business!"


Steiggy: "...from Pilsner in the Czech Republic."
Errey: "Is that the beer spot?"


"That's what chemistry is...telepathy..."


I had to radio it for the third period on my way to play my own game, so post anything I missed in the comments. So instead of reading about the third period commentary, just go out and purchase the new Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds album.

Pens vs. The Douchebag Bryan Murray/Senators; Game 1

"Mr. Roberts in his neighborhood..."


Steiggy: "He's a native of Switzerland and the Penguins would love to make him look like Swiss cheese by the time this series is over."


J & D Waterproofing commercial featuring Bob Errey = best commercial ever. "1-800-very-dry" (Okay, fine. I'm not sure if this can beat the Steubenville commercial because it lacks the sweet, sweet music...)


"You don't want to take your head off that...er your foot off that snake there, Steiggy."


"It says Warrior on his gloves. That's the company name, but it could also be Gary Roberts' name."


"Therefore they can't bang the players they want to bang." (okay, horribly out of context, but still hilarious...)


On Crosby's injury earlier in the season: "That's like caging up an animal! He must have been going crazy watching those games!"


Steiggy: "Right in Mr. Robert's neighborhood!"


I don't know about anyone else, but I think the Senators were tanking this game. They clearly are hoping to take this to six games so they can get back to Ottawa again...

Game 82; Pens vs. Flyers

So yeah...I'm late getting this up. I blame Marcus.

Watching this game in a room where Pens fans were outnumbered by Flyers fans 3-2 means I really didn't get to pay much attention to the game/commentary. Oh well.

On Hal Gill:
Steiggy: "He's like a big aircraft carrier out there!"
Errey: "He sure is!"
(Of course, this was followed by the Pensblog shout/crediting the reference. Looks like Steiggy loves reading the blogs!)


That was all I got. I'm sure it was probably a good one for commentary though. Let me know what I missed. Again, I blame Marcus...

Game 81; Pens vs. Flyers

So I missed a large portion of this game. I apologize for that. Post anything I missed in the comments.


"Hey. Be a man. Tap him, and if you want to go, drop your gloves."


"Really, the only thing you can do is say, 'Mr. Hartnell, I hope that penalty cost you the playoffs.'"


"It's almost like a swimmer trying to get water out of his ear. That's what Malkin looked like."


Steiggy: "It's not easy to play against Rob Scuderi and Hal Gill. It's like playing in seaweed!"
Errey: "And then you got Jordan Staal who's all over you as well [...] The big pterodactyl!"


"They're going to be knocking on Lord Stanley's...chalice."


So have the Flyers still not learned that making Crosby angry is a terrible idea? I mean, how many times does it have to bite them in the ass before they realize, "maybe we shouldn't take cheap shots at Crosby because he kills us when he gets mad."

Game 80; Pens vs. Rangers

I'm too lazy to write anything here...

Game 79; Pens vs. Rangers

Okay, another NBC game. So let's look at some salary cap issues which Mike Milbury and Pierre McGuire are sure to bring up tomorrow (if I hear "Tampa Bay North" one more time I'm going to flip out...). How Mike Milbury is qualified to comment on building a team is beyond me. Well...unless we count building other people's teams through terrible trades. Then he is definitely the man for the job...

Let's look at the salary situations of several of the "elite" clubs (and pre-deadline Tampa Bay) in the NHL, examining their 5 highest paid forwards, 2 highest paid defensemen, and their goaltending (if a team has a clear cut #1 being paid as such, I will only count one. If they have two being paid average money and rotate fairly evenly, I will count both). We will call this the "core of the team." (contract figures taken from www.nhlnumbers.com)

If players have extensions that kick in next season, we will use that figure as I'm more concerned with the future than the present years. Though this will sometimes conflict with players who have deals expiring this year that do not have extensions and are scheduled to be UFA's. So obviously these figures will not be completely accurate. Scott Niedermayer is also tricky and throws off Anaheim's calculations.

(all figures in millions)

Detroit:
Pavel Datsyuk: $6.7 (signed through 2013/14)
Dan Cleary: $2.8 (takes effect next season through 2012/13)
Henrik Zetterberg: $2.65 (through 2008/09 and due for a huuuuuge raise)
Tomas Holmstrom: $2.25 (through 2009/10)
Kris Draper: $2.128 (an extension kicks in next season that, I think, will actually lower his cap hit)

Top 5 forwards: $16.528

Defense:
Nicklas Lidstrom: $7.6 (through this season, then $7.45 for the next two seasons)
Brian Rafalski: $6.0 (through 2011/12)

Top two defensemen: $13.6

Goaltending:
Dominik Hasek: $4.05
Chris Osgood: $1.42 (extension kicks in next season through 2010/11)

Goaltending: $5.47


Core of the team total: $35.598

Additional considerations: Detroit is one of the best drafting teams in the NHL and constantly finds young players to step in when others leave. Players like Niklas Kronwall, Valtteri Filppula, and Jiri Hudler seem to be constantly making huge strides are one of the main reasons Detroit has remained an elite team year after year. Both Datsyuk and Zetterberg were low round picks who became elite players.

--------------------

Anaheim Ducks

I'm cheating and using only 4 forwards and 3 defensemen due to the makeup of this team.

Forwards:
Ryan Getzlaf: $5.125 (beginning next season through 2012/13)
Todd Bertuzzi: $4.0 (through 2008/09)
Chris Kunitz: $3.725 (through 2011/12)
Todd Marchant: $2.518 (through 2008/09)

Forward total: $15.368

Defense:
Mathieu Schneider: $5.625 (through 2008/09)
Chris Pronger: $5.515 (through 2009/10)
Scott Niedermayer: $4.115 (through 2008/09...though this cap number is for only this season as he sat out most of the way. He would count $6.75 were he to be on the roster the full season, so take that into consideration)

Defense total: $15.255

Goaltending:
J.S. Giguere: $6.00 (through 2010/11)

"Core" total: 36.623

Additional Considerations: Niedermayer may retire (again) and Corey Perry is due for an extension which should place him among the top 4 salary-wise among Ducks forwards.

-----------

Ottawa Senators:

Forwards:
Dany Heatley: $7.5 (effective next season through 2013/14)
Jason Spezza: $7.0 (effective next season through 2014/15)
Daniel Alfredsson: $4.14 (effective through 2008/09 with 3 underpaid option years after that)
Mike Fisher: $4.2 (effective next season through 2012/13)
Chris Kelly: $1.262 (ends this season)

Forward total: 24.102

Defense:
Wade Redden: $6.5 (ends this season)
Chris Phillips: $3.5 (through 2010/11)

Defense Total: $10.00

Goaltending:
Martin Gerber: $3.7 (through 2008/09)
Ray Emery: $3.167 (through 2009/10)

Goaltending: $6.867

"Core" total: $40.969

Other things to consider: What will happen to Wade Redden after the season? Will Emery be traded (if anyone will take him)? What about Alfredsson's low salary (whose option are the option years? Player or club?)? Antoine Vermette and Andrej Meszaros are restricted free agents after this season.

---------------------

Tampa Bay (not an elite, but just for fun...and we'll examine pre-deadline trades)

Forwards:
Brad Richards: $7.8 (technically off their books, but through 2010/11)
Vincent Lecavalier: $6.875 (through 2008/09 with a huuuuge extension coming this summer)
Martin St. Louis: $5.25 (through 2010/11)
Vaclav Prospal: $1.90 (technically gone, but through this season)
Chris Gratton: $1.5 (through this season)

Forward total: $23.325

Defense:
Dan Boyle: $6.667 (effective next season through 2013/14)
Filip Kuba: $3.0 (through 2008/09)

Defense total: $9.667

Goaltending:
Kari Ramo: $.658 (through 2008/09)
Johan Holmqvist: $1.0 (ends this season...and technically gone)

Goaltending total: $1.658

"Core" total: $34.65

Additional considerations: Where are their good young players? Where are their good free agent signings? Why have they failed on every attempt to solve their goaltending situation? This organization is a mess. Hockey's Future ranks Tampa 29th out of 30 teams in regards to prospects. So because they can't draft or sign free agents and have a handful of good players, this is what the Penguins are supposedly going to turn into? Also note that the Senators are/will be paying their top 5 forwards more money than Tampa was prior to the trading deadline. This is a team that signed Michel Oullet to be a top-six forward, a player the Pens did not even attempt to retain despite him being inexpensive.

---------------

New York Rangers:

Forwards:
Scott Gomez: $7.357 (through 2013/14)
Chris Drury: $7.050 (through 2011/12)
Brendan Shanahan: $5.3 (through 2007/08, includes bonus money)
Jaromir Jagr: $4.94 (perhaps through only this season though possibly including next season, the Caps are still picking up some of his tab, hence the low number)
Martin Straka: $3.3 (through 2007/08)

Forward total: $27.947

Defense:
Paul Mara: $3.0 (through 2007/08)
Marek Malik: $2.5 (trough 2007/08)

Defense total: $5.5

Goaltending:
Henrik Lundqvist: $6.875 (effective next season through 2013/14)

"Core" total: $40.322

Additional considerations: Spending more on their top 5 forwards than Tampa was, yet they were a trendy pick to win the cup this year, not to "turn into Tampa North." They can get out from under Jagr's contract this year. They might lose Jagr, Straka, Avery, and Shanahan after this season.

----------------------

Dallas Stars

Forwards:
Brad Richards: $7.8 (through 2010/11)
Mike Ribeiro: $5.0 (effective next season through 2012/13)
Brendan Morrow: $4.1 (through 2012/13)
Jere Lehtinen: $4.0 (through 2008/09)
Mike Modano: $3.45 (through 2009/10)

Forward total: $24.35

Defense:
Mattias Norstrom: $4.25 (through 2007/08)
Sergei Zubov: $4.0 (through 2008/09)

Defense total: $8.25

Goaltending:
Marty Turco: $5.7 (through 2009/10)

"Core" total: $38.30

Additional considerations: The Stars are also paying more money to their top 5 forwards than Tampa was pre-deadline. Oddly enough, they are not "becoming Tampa West." They have built a solid blue-line and receive solid goaltending (something Tampa has not post-Cup winning).

-----------------------

Pittsburgh Penguins

We're going to have to use some (extremely) hypothetical salaries here since we have some key players coming up for new deals in the offseason...

Forwards:
Sidney Crosby: $8.7 (effective next season through 2012/13)
Evgeni Malkin: $7.5 (hypothetical through 2013/2014)
Marian Hossa: $6.5 (hypothetical through 2013/14)
Ryan Malone: $3.5 (hypothetical through 2012/13)
Petr Sykora: $2.625 (through 2008/09)

Forward total: $28.825

Defense:
Sergei Gonchar: $5.0 (through 2009/10)
Ryan Whitney: $4.0 (through 2012/13)

Defense total: $9.0

Goaltending:
Marc-Andre Fleury: $3.0 (hypothetical through 2011/12) This puts him in Cam Ward range, which is probably about right for the moment, though perhaps a bit on the low side. He's shown a lot of potential and seems to be starting to show consistency recently. He played well in the playoffs last year (despite what most commentators say) other than the first period of the first game. This number could vary greatly based upon his playoff performance this year.

Extremely hypothetical "core" total: $40.825

Additional considerations: Will Marian Hossa take a figure like this when he could get (a lot) more on the open market? Don Waddell stated money was not the issue in getting an extension done, it was the bleak future of the Atlanta organization (as recently documented by both TSN and ESPN). What will Staal's extension be? We could probably let Gonchar go once his current deal expires as defense is our organizational strong point (Whitney, Letang, Goligoski, Sneep, Strait). That will clear some salary off the books when Letang will get a new deal. I love Gonchar, but it would save salary and the Whitney/Letang combo can capably handle the point on the powerplay and will develop further over the next two seasons.

Obviously my salaries for Malkin, Hossa, and Malone are ridiculously hypothetical and probably will not be accurate. I have no idea what they'll do with any of them. For all we know, Hossa and Malone may not even be back. So let's just avoid arguing over whether these figures will be accurate. Especially Hossa. I know he probably won't sign for that low of a number, I still will hold out hope that he will.

---------------
So let's compare the "core" totals for all these teams: (forwards, defense, goal)

Senators: $40.969 ($24.102, $10.0, $6.867)
Pens: $40.825 ($28.825, $9.0, $3.0)
Rangers: $40.322 ($27.947, $5.5, $6.875)
Stars: $38.30 ($24.35, $8.25, $5.7)
Ducks: $36.623 ($15.368, $15.255, $6.0)
Red Wings: $35.598 ($16.528, $13.6, $5.47)
Lightning: $34.65 ($23.325, $9.667, $1.658)

So let's get this straight...Pittsburgh, according to NBC broadcasters and many others, is going to become "Tampa North" even though there are at least four teams that are or will be spending more per season on their top 5 forwards than Tampa was prior to trading Brad Richards?

While my analysis is definitely not a complete analysis, it does it least give a snapshot of the salaries of these teams. It should also at least somewhat debunk the "Tampa North" argument (which obviously fires me up more than just about anything hockey announcers say).

Where's the similar criticism of the Rangers (who don't have as good of a defensive corps as the Pens), Senators, and Stars? So these teams get a pass, but it's Pittsburgh who "gave up too much" and will "become Tampa North"? (clearly they didn't watch Colby and Crusher play that much)

Discuss.

Game 78; Pens vs. Islanders

On the Islanders backup goaltender:
Errey: "Michael Mole. There he is...looking through the mole hole!"
Steiggy: "That guy in front of him is Bruce Bennett, a longtime NHL photographer."
Errey: "He looks like Einstein!"


"What's he been doing for the last 28 games? He's been working on his magic!"


Woah woah woah...Petr Sykora just got in a fight?!?!?!? The apocalypse is upon us...


...and now Daryl Sydor?!?!?!?


Steiggy: "Yeah...I was in Sudden Death, which I suppose you could say is the worst movie ever made..." (Editor's note: never trust Iceburgh with your kids. He will kidnap them.)


"I'd like to see Dan Potash in a fight with Iceburgh!"


Potash: "Don't underestimate the 90210!"
Errey: "Danny, you gotta get your mugshot in that picture!"
Potash: "Easy, Bobby. Easy..."


Steiggy: "Georges jumps into the window!"
Errey: "Get out of the way!"

Game 77; Pens vs. Devils

On the Devils: "I just think they're sometimes too stale. Like this building, Steiggy. They gotta get out of their...out of their suits a little bit. Get...get dirty here!"


"That's an impressive face! We should get Sutter faces. We can put a collage together or something..."


On Connor James: "He's gotta be getting dizzy! He's getting pulled up and down and up and down!"


"Brooks Orpik is feeling the lovin', I think, from his teammates. Specifically Michel Therrien."


Steiggy: "...on Penguins rewind. We should call it Errey Rewind!"
Errey: "C'mon Steggy! I just want to see more...facial expressions of Brent Sutter!"


Steiggy: "They announced 16,292 here tonight."
Errey: "Half of them are cardboard, like you said..."


Way to miss the empty net goal by showing Fleury sitting in his crease, FSN...

Game 76; Pens vs. Isles

So let's try something new today since tonight's game is on Versus. Since I do not get that channel at my house, I will have to watch from a bar and won't be able to listen to Doc Emrick get super excited over everything. Today we will go to work on debunking the myth that "Marian Hossa chokes in the playoffs," as many lazy commentators love to point out.

First, let's look at Hossa's career playoff stats:

Year Team GP G A Pts +/- PIM Shots Sh%
2006-07 Atlanta 4 0 1 1 -6 6 10 0
2004-05 HC Dukla5 4 5 9 2 14 - -
2003-04 Ottawa 7 3 1 4 2 0 32 9.38
2002-03 Ottawa 18 5 11 16 -1 6 54 9.26
2001-02 Ottawa 12 4 6 10 2 2 42 9.52
2000-01 Ottawa 4 1 1 2 1 4 12 8.33
1999-00 Ottawa 6 0 0 0 -8 2 14 0
1998-99 Ottawa 4 0 2 2 1 4 11 0


Now, let's go through the years chronologically to examine these stats:

1998-99:
Hossa is 19 years old and in his first full season in the NHL. The Senators leading scorer had 4 points (Alfredsson, who is about six years older than Hossa, and Vaclav Prospal both had 4 points). This is 2 whole points more than Hossa, a 19 year old rookie. His stats are also in line with his .50 ppg pace of the regular season (15g-15a in 60 total games in the regular season).

Malkin last year had 4 points (0 goals, 4 assists, -1 +/-) in 5 playoff games. Malkin was in his rookie season and appeared tired by the end of the year. This is normal for rookies to tail off at the end of their rookie seasons.

1999-00:
Hossa is now 20 years old, and the Senators leading scorer that season was Radek Bonk (Shawn McEachren was also in their top five). This is the year Barrasso was their goalie in the playoffs when the Pens traded him for Tugnutt. Now when Radek Bonk is your leading scorer, do you really have high hopes in the playoffs? Granted, the 0 points and -8 in six games does not look good.

2001-02:
Not bad stats. 10 points in 12 games (.833 ppg), +2

2002-03:
16 points in 18 games (.889 ppg), -1

2003-04:
4 points in 7 games (.571 ppg), +2

2004-05:
In Slovakia (so take that for what it's worth), but he still had 9 points in 5 games (1.8 ppg).

2006-07:
1 point in 4 games, -6.
These stats are pretty horrific. However, keep in mind what team he was on. Atlanta relied almost entirely on two players (Hossa and Kovalchuk) to provide the bulk of their offense. This can succeed in the regular season (especially in a weak division), but once you get to the playoffs you're going to be facing teams that regularly play good defense. The Rangers did a good job of shutting down Atlanta's only two offensive threats (Kovalchuk: 1 goal, 1 assist, -1).

In addition to the Rangers shutting Atlanta down offensively, their goaltending was horribly mediocre as Hartley kept shifting between Kari Lehtonen (2007 playoff stats: 2 gp, 2 losses, 5.59 GAA, .849 save %) and Johan Hedberg (2007 playoff stats: 2 gp, 2 losses, 2.56 GAA, .928 save %; this is a lot better than I was expecting, actually). They got terrible goaltending from Lehtonen and decent goaltending from Hedberg. Atlanta's defense had no chance though. They traded away one of their few young prospects with potential (Coburn, now with the Flyers) for an overrated defenseman in hopes of a playoff run (Alexei Zhitnik, now occasionally a healthy scratch).

This is not the recipe for playoff success and Atlanta was consequently swept out of the playoffs. Before the series I (and many, many others) predicted the Rangers would sweep them. And because his whole team was overmatched and the Rangers only had to shutdown two players to eliminate all offensive threats, this makes Hossa someone who doesn't perform in the playoffs?

-----------------

Now, let's compare some other players performances in the playoffs with the several good years Hossa had (arguably his only years with a good team in the playoffs):

Brad Richards (Conn Smythe year, 2003-2004): 23gp, 12g, 14assists, 1.13 ppg. Obviously this is better than Hossa's best year. Even still though, 1.13 ppg isn't overwhelmingly better than Hossa's best playoff mark of .889 ppg. Better? Definitely. Could Hossa have had a couple good games had he survived another round and had that many games played? We'll never know, but it is plausible. And Richards did win the Conn Smythe trophy, so clearly this was an excellent playoff performance.

Vincent Lecavalier (2003-2004, Cup winning year): 23gp, 9 goals, 7 assists, -2, .696 ppg.

Jarome Iginla (2003-2004): 26gp, 13 goals, 9 assists, +13, .846 ppg

And for an even better measure of comparison, let's look at Daniel Alfredsson's stats during the years he and Hossa played together during the playoffs in Ottawa:

Year Team League GP G A Pts +/- PIM Shots Sh%
2003-04 Ottawa NHL 7 1 2 3 0 2 29 3.45
2002-03 Ottawa NHL 18 4 4 8 -3 12 41 9.76
2001-02 Ottawa NHL 12 7 6 13 6 4 55 12.73
2000-01 Ottawa NHL 4 1 0 1 0 2 13 7.69
1999-00 Ottawa NHL 6 1 3 4 0 2 11 9.09
1998-99 Ottawa NHL 4 1 2 3 -1 4 13 7.69

Now let's compare the points per game of the two players for those years:

Year Hossa Alfredsson
2003-04 0.571 0.429
2002-03 0.889 0.444
2001-02 0.833 1.080
2000-01 0.500 0.250
1999-00 0.000 0.667
1998-99 0.500 0.750

So Alfredsson was better for several years, especially at the beginning of Hossa's career. Again though, Alfredsson has about six years on Hossa. The last two years they were together in Ottawa, Hossa put up better numbers. He was significantly better in 2002-03. There is also a much higher sample size for that season vs. the following one (18 games vs. 7 games).

The past two years Alfredsson has been over a point-per-game player in the playoffs. Would Hossa be able to do likewise when surrounded by a good supporting cast? Hopefully we will learn the answer to that this season in the playoffs.

So is Hossa really a choker in the playoffs or did he gain that reputation through lazy journalism and an inability to look beyond the stats?

Discuss...

Game 75; Pens vs. Devils

"Sounds like somebody won a body building championship! Put that one on boberrey.blogspot.com!" (YES! Your wish is my command! Thanks for the mention Bob! Much love!)


"Pandolfo had the stick between the big giant's legs, and boy... TIMMMMBER! Down went Gill, and into the penalty box went Pandolfo."


"Ruutu just ran over Paul Martin. It looked like roadkill in front of Martin Brodeur!"


"The old solar plexus, eh?"


"They're looking to put another nail in the coffin and maybe...implode Brodeur!"


Wait...did Errey just start singing a Zeppelin song?


"You're not eating any fish out of the Magnitogorsk ponds?"


Ty Conklin: "Apparently Adam Hall's a Hall of Fame announcer already."


"Everybody wants our job, Steiggy!"


"I can't tell you how long you have to bathe your hands in palmolive for that kind of play. I mean, he's got some of the softest hands I've ever seen."

Need the video for that one...



Steiggy: "They're all going up there, Bob. They're going to write a book at the end of the year! I want to know who that guy is who runs the boberrey.blogspot.com!" (all right, Steiggy/Bob. Shoot me an email through my profile on here. Also figure out how I can get my hands on an old school Errey Pens jersey. You can't find those anywhere!)

Game 74; Pens vs. Bolts

On Robbie Scuds/explosives: "You talk about exploding...you take a pin out of a bomb and what does it do? It explodes. You take the pin out of his finger, and he's ready to explode too."


Steiggy: And Dupuis shoots it into the bench...
Errey: It's not in the bench, Steiggy. It's in my hand!
Steiggy: Good catch!
Errey: And I'm going to throw it...over the glass!"


"Ruutu's a tough guy, but he's not a beaver, Steiggy! He's not trying to eat wood there!"


"Fleury did all he could, but he was like a worm in the crease..."


Errey on facing St. Louis in the minors at the end of his career and telling him he was too small: "I was just trying to get under his skin. I was trying to pull a Ruutu, Steiggy!"


"They have 18 shots, but half of them glorious!"


"...and look at him dribble, Steiggy!"

Game 73; Pens vs. Rangers

"The NY Rangers are like sharks. It's a feeding frenzy right now!"


"Hal Gill! A fistful of dollars for Avery!"


"Look at Jagr and Hall Gill. Jagr's trying to be his friend here. 'Please! Let me go!'"


Steiggy: "Ruutu gets the puck, walks all the way down Broadway, and lit up the lights on Broadway to give the Penguins their first goal!"


Steiggy: "He turned him into an ice carving with that first move!"


"There's the Long Arm of the Law right there!" (YESSSSSSSSSS! That's the first of the season I think! Finally!)


"Who plays it? You got it? I got it? No, Dupuis' got it!"


Steiggy: "There's Chris Stewart with the puck. Yeah, he's still got it. I don't know where it is. It might be up on that sod farm!"
Errey: "What did they bury it?"
(awkward laughter from both)
Steiggy: "Hank's got it on a shelf somewhere!"
Errey: "With everyhing...euhuhuh...ohhh can you imagine how much...hardware they have in that family? They don't have enough shelves!"


"Dupuis was just flying on that 4-on-4! He looked like he was on the Nordic Track...like he couldn't be stopped."


Steiggy: "It's kinda quiet in here right now..."
Errey: "The Mayor is in the house. They have to be on their best behavior!"


On Roberts' dad: "He doesn't look as scary as Gary though..."


"He got nothing but smelly gloves...right to the chest."


I really hate Sean Avery...

Game 72; Pens vs. Flyers

Fantastic. A couple notes:

1) Edzo seems to have finally lost his bitterness over being fired. They even set him up perfectly to unleash by asking about how he thought the organization developed Fleury.

2) Is there anyone out there who would not trade Christensen straight up for Dupuis? (I'd even say Armstrong straight up too if you only consider on the ice and not his personality/locker room presence) I said it at the time and I'll say it again: Dupuis was an overlooked part of that deal but a very good addition.

Game 71; Pens vs. Sabres

Once again: Errey between the boards means Keith is at the game.

The only things I got via text message:

1) Courtesy of Ryan: "You know I get hungry, Steiggy!"

2) Justin informs me Errey got a steak in between periods??? Someone needs to give me some details on that one...

Best thing overheard at the game (not counting any yinzer hockey "knowledge"):

-Some guy describing the plot of Talladega Nights to his friend, followed by the plot to, "you know, that Adam Sandler movie...Click."

Game 70; Pens vs. Caps

Man...Backstrom buried that goal at the end. Great shot!

Side note: we need Robbie Scuds back...

Game 69; Pens vs. Panthers

If I see this goddamn Steubenville commercial one more time...


"How about this motion here? A little ballroom dancing!"


"How good does Bobby Orr look? Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!?"


"He was like a kid who touched a hot coil and...let it go."


Steiggy: "Let's look at the Subway Sandwich of the Game!"
Errey: "I always like food!"


Is it just me, or does Olli Jokinen look like a giant 4 year old?


STEUBENVILLE!

Game 68; Pens vs. Bolts

"His Dallas Stars what? Regalia? You starting early tonight?"


"You can't doubt these linesmen, Steiggy. They're right down there!" (If only I could accurately type out this voice...)


"A guided missle...not too well guided..."

Game 67; Pens vs. Thrashers

"Ryan Malone was fishing there!"


"You know if you assume stuff and what that makes you, Steiggy"


"McCarthy...where's he going?!?!?!? He's on I-79! [...] Steve McCarthy was out to lunch, Steiggy!"


"Pointing him down like he wanted to put handcuffs on him or something. C'mon, just ref the game!"


"hahaha...butthead..."


"You're not going to want to, uh, exchange five-head blows with that guy."


Gotta skip the end of this one to go play my own game(s)...

Game 66; Pens vs. Senators

"There's a tattoo of #55 in the glass down there!"


"You just have to recognize the situation. I tried to warn him, Steiggy!"


"We gotta get ourselves some towels, Steiggy!"


"Sid's probably watching right now. How about a little paraphernalia up here for the guys in the booth? [...] I'm making the call. I just did, Danny. I'm not gonna sit there in the, uh, in the weeds. I'll wear that stuff on that air. I'll look good in some of that...Sidney gear! I love it!"

Game 65; Pens vs. Bruins

"People didn't think someone that was 6'9" could play hockey. Play something else, Zdeno!"


Why is it that when I see a Pens player wearing #9 the first name I think of is Rene Corbet?


Errey on Hal Gill's pants: "I don't know... I'd be swimming in those things! I'd be wearing those as full length pants!" (I do not believe he has mentioned the length of his stick yet, and I am disappointed...)


"You see that? We're trying to put the hex on Tim Thomas, throwing that shutout streak out there."

Game 64; Pens vs. Isles

Hmmmm...starting the game two men down? Let's get Errey and the Ol' Two-Niner in there!

"The old backward shuffle. He looked like Michael Jackson there!"


"I've got a couple pinkie fingers and you can look at them right now, Steiggy..."


Steiggy: "And once again it's the anticipation of Conklin."
Errey: "Yeah, well, it's gonna be constipation for the New York Islanders if they can't get one behind him!"


"How about the newcomer Davison coming across and laying that big butt check on Connor James?"


"Don't you have to be tall to have a high ankle sprain?"


"That's the magic of Potash!"


Question to ponder for Thursday: Exactly how long will Errey think 6'7" Hal Gill's stick is? Bonus question: how many times will the length of said stick be mentioned?

Game 63; Pens vs. Sharks

"Laraque's looking for a dance, but not the kind of dance that we like, Steiggy. He's looking to drop the gloves."


"You can't just, uh, beat the horse all the time, Steiggy. Sometimes you gotta give it a little bit of loving. Give it some good food. Some good oats and grain, and that's what Therrien was doing!"


Errey: "You know Vlasic's nickname is 'Pickles'..."
Steiggy: "I like the Vlasic pickles, do you?"
Errey: I'm not into the dill, I'm into the sweet ones."
Steiggy: "You like the pickle stabbing, I know that!"
Errey: "Can you imagine if Vlasic actually pickle stabbed one into the net today? That would be huge!"


Steiggy channeling John Madden: "No wonder they don't have any shots in overtime. They haven't taken any!"

Game 62; Pens vs. Sens

I was at this game and would like to forget it.

Let's move on...

Game 61; Pens vs, Habs

"He's a pesty fella!"

Ruutu chewing his jersey after his goal: "He's like a pit bull! He's like...he's like your new puppy at home...he's chewing everything!"


"They've got the same haircut! It must be the French cut!"


"I got an old couch at home that looks like some of the material he wore yesterday!"


I'm missing the end of this game since I have to get to Southpointe for my own game. Oh well. Post anything I missed in the comments.

Game 60; Pens vs. Panthers

Yeah...I got nothing for this game. A combination of seeing most of the first period at a bar/restaurant due to a mediocre waitress, then watching the game with a group of people so I couldn't pay close attention, and it also seemed as if Errey was subdued after being on fire for the last couple of game.

I do have one question though: could somebody please explain to me precisely where this "six-hole" is?

Everyone knows the five hole is between the legs of the goalie. Holes one through four are generally comprised of the upper and lower quarters of the net. Unless Errey is subdividing the left and the right sides into three holes a piece, I have no clue where this six-hole is that apparently everyone shot for tonight. Anyone?

Also, I'll use an exact cut and paste from a Panthers game earlier this year because it fits once again (just replace Ruutu with whatever Penguin player was nearby this time):
I take severe issue with Errey and Steiggy questioning the delay of game call against Vokoun. It was a textbook delay of game call regardless of whether or not Ruutu was nearby. Goalies cannot freeze the puck outside of the crease. They'll generally let it go if it's remotely near the crease, but Vokoun was at least 10 feet outside the crease. That's a call that has to be made (I'd say the same thing had the Pens been called).

Game 59; Pens vs. Sabres

Good acting from Kaleta...throwing his head back hard as Laraque pushed him in the chest...


"The pickle stabber to the paraphernalia of Miller. That heat seeking missle, that stick of Malkin [...] Watch Malkin come in with the stick right there. Doink!"


On how Paille's name could be pronounced "pie":
"Oh yeah, what was Paille's goals against? 3.14?"


"Steiggy, I'm not just a pretty face up here."


"Jarkko Ruutu, Chi-Chi Rodriguez!"


Fucking Kaleta... I've never heard of him before today and he's already one of my least favorite players in the league...


"They come in bunches, like bananas!"


"Did he drill it in with the pickle stabber, Steiggy?"


"You could say they're running with the Devils." (Didn't peg Errey for a Van Halen fan...)


"Some people say my ties are pretty goofy."


"Colllllllllllllby! [...] He's not just an outdoor player, Steiggy. He can do it indoors as well. Ooooohhhhhhh you gotta love it..."

Game 58; Pens vs. Canes/Stripes

TK is back! And it's the return of "the Next Ronnie Francis" from the healthy scratch list...


On Nathan Smith and Convoy: "I think they may get a little dancing before we're done."


"Really...it wasn't a Milli Vanilli thing?"


"An icing as Gonchar nonchalants his way..." (Editor's note: nonchalants? I know nonchalance is a word...but nonchalants? As in a verb?)


"A lot of resistance there with Kadar...pulling him...like a plow-horse around the ice. Are you kidding me?!?!?"


"The Staal's...They'd like to use him on the sod farm the way he's working!"


Amazing...FSN put up a "tale of the tape" for the Laraque fight and for once Chris Thorburn wasn't listed...


Dear lord...did Brooks Orpik just score? The apocalypse is upon us...


"Malkin grabbed the puck! Malkin got the puck out of the net! That's been eh that's how long it's been for Orpik! Shovels it to the net! We........ Last night we showed Orpik's goal from 2005. We opened the can of worms...Steiggy. We brought something back to life...from the dead! And that was Brooks Orpik...and he probably cannot believe it [...] I almost had a heart attack there!" (Words cannot describe how excited Errey was for this)


"Brooks Orpik, putting the dagger into Cam Ward." (Italics do not do justice the voice he just used...)


"The guys in the truck are giggling right now!"


"I do my pre-med classes sometimes. I try to figure it all out."


"He got discombobulated there, Steiggy!"


"He did some pretty good fishing in front of that net. [...] And put it in the ocean."


"Look at him fish with that looooong fishing rod!"


"A lot of irony in this hockey game." (Editor's note: no there isn't. Someone please grab Bob a dictionary.)


Errey: "This is like a pit-stop here!"
Steiggy: "They love their pit-stops down here in Carolina..."
Errey: "hahaha yeah. Hey Tom Barrasso! He was into some racing. But it didn't work out..."


Steiggy: "We knew we were in the South."
Errey (in his best Southern accent): "Yep..."


"All these...all these food sponsors they're...they're going to help me out when I'm between the benches."


Uh oh...the next Ronnie Franchise has gone down...


"Time is certainly ticking down on the Penguins. You're cooking your egg...you got your three minute timer out, Steiggy. You can just start it now."


Terrible officiating tonight...

Game 57; Pens vs. Bruins

Once again, Errey between the glass = Keith at the game.

Things learned at the game:

Times it is appropriate to "SHOOT THE GODDAMN PUCK YA FUCKIN' JAG OFF!":
1) When stopping a clearing attempt on your backhand at the point.
2) With two defenders charging you in your shooting lane while at the point.
3) Anytime you happen to touch the puck and your last name is "Gonchar."

"Dan Onorato...cocksucker..."


Errey quote courtesy of a Marcus phone call: "Did he just say 'how is a 269 lbs. man just going to slip it in the back door like that?'"

Top jerseys seen at the game:
#48 Tyler Kennedy (really? I like TK too...but enough to purchase a jersey?)
#26 Ronald Petrovicky
#43 Tomas Surovy

Game 56; Pens vs. Flyers

"I think this is the one gorilla on the Penguins' back, having to beat this Flyers hockey team."


On the Ruutu fight: "That was pretty even-Steven on that one."


"hahahahaha..." (yes, this was random laughter as Steiggy was talking. I have absolutely no idea what he was laughing at...)


"Who is the Malkin in the middle there?"


"He loves that Fiji water! .....he doesn't just drink any water!"


On Conklin getting his stick stuck in the zamboni door: "He put the credit card right in the slot!"


"...and Malkin is holding the goodie bag!


Steiggy: "Malkin is going to be the McDonald's player of the century if he keeps playing like this!"

Game 55; Pens vs. Kings

I ended up at this game, so I got nothing. Leave a comments for any gems that I missed.

Though being surrounded by idiots didn't help my sanity at the game. I will leave with a panicked quote from not one, but two people around me when Danny Sabs left the net on a delayed penalty:

"Where's the goalie? Where's the goalie?!?!?"

Shoot me now...

Game 54; Pens vs. Isles

Wait...Marc Bergevin is in the Lemieux box?


"The olllllllllll' Murphy dump!"


Steiggy: "The ultimate Murphy dump was back in the playoffs in '91..." (Did this story have any point?)


Errey: "Remember when Trottier grabbed the Cup and slid across that tarp at PNC Park? That was incredible!"
Steiggy: "That was Three Rivers Stadium. One of the great moments in celebratory history..."


"Penguins power play en fuego!"


"Find that Wes Welker underneath!"


Steiggy: "Time for a Corona timeout."
Errey: "Well I am thirsty!"


"Where'd he find those hands? ......BING!"

Game 53; Pens vs. Devils

So due to having to watch this in a bar due to lack of Versus at the house, I now present to you the top quotes overheard by Justin and I at Ruggers:

"I'm going to go home, watch Higher Learning, and drink some beers." (words cannot express how mind blowing this was to hear)


"She said she was going to bring over a pack of cigarettes and a six-pack. How are you going to turn that down?"

Game 52; Pens vs. Hurricanes

Steiggy (on Barasso): "Tommy wasn't very cordial when we tried talking to him today..." (really though, what was he expecting from Barasshole?)
Errey: "Hey, Ty Conklin took his #35. Maybe he's upset about that!"


"We've been waiting a couple years for this one!" (Errey on the Cole/Orpik fight)


On Ray Whitney: "He's a shifty little guy like a waterbug."


"Oh Steiggy, you can't be dipsy-doodling around your own net like Malkin did there!"


"The corner man, Chris Stewart, is working on Max Talbot. You don't want to ruin his modeling career, Steiggy."


Wait...did Errey just say that Kristi Yamaguchi started "firing pucks" around at a San Jose Sharks practice once?


"There's Sidney and Mario. One's drinking water and one's drinking wine. Let's guess which one is which!"


Woah...they just showed a shot between periods of the concession area and there was a guy wearing a...Konstantin Koltsov jersey?!?!?!?!? Someone actually purchased one of those?


"It's like he had a big red snapper there, Steiggy!" (This needs further explanation...Talbot's stick was stuck in the skates of Mike Commodore, who is known for his big, red hair. I'm not sure whether this makes Errey's joke better or worse...)

...and the follow up: "Talbot with the harpoon in the penalty box"


Ray Whitney? Steiggy now agrees he is "a waterbug."


On Laraque: "But he's svelte this year!"

Game 51; Pens vs. Thrashers

Wait...did the lineup show that Chris Thorburn was playing right wing on the Pens fourth line? That marks the second time this year Thorburn has been erroneously listed during a Pens game (the other came during a fight earlier in the year for a "tale of the tape")


Steiggy: "He is a boy mayor. He makes Luke Ravenstahl looks like David L. Lawrence!" (worst...analogy...ever...)


"...for the blue shirts...I guess the Rangers are really the blue shirts. This is blue land (??? No idea what the last word he said there was). I don't know what color that is, Steiggy. Do You? You gotta be an interior decorator to know what kind of color that is!"


"I see McCarthy is in the box for the noogies on the back of the noggin of the Finnish Crash." (Side note to the Ruutu ejection: worst...call...ever...)


Just to clarify...is there anyone in the league whose stick Errey does not believe to be "long"? Toby Enstrom, congrats on joining Jordan Staal, Chara, Letang, and Malone in the Hall of Long Sticks.


"One of those slick Christensen handsy moves..."


Has anyone tried to go six-hole on a goalie yet tonight?

Game 50; Pens vs. Devils

"Therrien's gotta keep shuffling those bingo balls."


Steiggy: "Newark...not the most attractive city in America..."


"A power move to the net and he ties the game at one!" (Oh yes, that was Staal...)


Wow...Errey really, really loves Mike Rupp...


"An absolutely sick goal by Erik Christensen!"


"So much for next goal wins. It might be last goals wins with this one!"


Courtesy of Ryan: "Maybe it's a meatball!"


Errey: "The stat guy here at the building credited the Penguins with three
hits after two periods. I don't know...he must be watching some
tiddlywinks game or something."
Steiggy on Orpik: "...and he ain't playing tiddlywinks!"


"Salmon Arm...a salmon doesn't even have an arm!"


"Oh I'm just having a little giggle, Steiggy..."


A few additions courtesy Mr. Rogan:
"[They're] hovering like bees around a hive." (Hovering?)


Mike Rupp - "the human tripod"


Errey referring to play by Scuderi - "He read that like a cheap novel."

Game 49; Pens vs. Flyers

So if you hadn't seen this game, who would you think this quote was talking about? Answer later in the post: "His stickwork is almost unparalleled here on the Penguins defense."


"Some beautiful footsie playing by Evgeni Malkin."


"Speaking of statues, I have one next to me in the booth in the form of Keith Primeau, the former Flyer."


"Can you believe that, Keith Primeau?"


"Threw the lure in the there and picked up that big puck and did a little fishing!"


"The attack of the goaltenders here in Philadelphia!"


Answer: Robbie Scuds


"Sweet move though, was it not? A power move to the backhand, spun around to the forehand for Staal!"


Quetions: Will Flyers fans flip out about the Laraque push and fail to realize it was almost the same as the Randy Jones hit on Patrice Bergeron. Oh yeah...Downie was back in the game and Bergeron's season is over and career threatened...but Jones was innocent, it was all Bergeron's fault. This is surely a dirty play by Laraque...

(Alternate question: if Laraque is not suspended, will this be "conclusive proof" that the league is only out to get the Flyers and not other teams?)

Game 48; Pens vs. Caps

Watched this at a bar (side note: some random 50-year old woman told me I was "fun to watch the game with."), so no quotes. It was called the Versus B-Team anyway...

I think I could watch this clip all day long and be thoroughly entertained though...

Game 47; Pens vs. Habs

Prior to this season, I never thought the following quote would be said in a positive manner at any time in the NHL unless another Conklin broke into the league:
"Those are Conklin-like numbers!"


On Colby's injury:
Steiggy: "He could have hip pointer."
Errey: "He could have a butt pointer!"


"If that puck went in, I lost my eyesight."


"We always talk about stickhandling in a phone booth...I think Kovalev and Kostitsyn could stickhandle in the same phone booth at the same time!"


"Kostopoulos had him lined up from here to China!"


And while not said in the broadcast, the following quote from Jeff Taffe is amazing:
"Georges is such a big guy, but he's more of an offensive force than people think," said Taffe. "It's fun playing with him. You get him the puck behind the net and he thinks he's Wayne Gretzky."


And now that Jarkko is finally getting his minutes (a year and a half later...) we're finally seeing the full impact of his annoyingness. And I love every second of it...

Game 46; Pens vs. Johnny Torts

I was at the game, so I got nothing (a quick guide to when I'm at games: if Errey is between the benches, I somehow seem to be at all of these games...).

This one comes courtesy of Nick though:
"A lot of hockey players have fingers that are different sizes than the other ones."

And another courtesy of Trish (which, I should add, was left on my office voicemail):
"Staal ran him over like a roll of sod!" (not sure on the exact wording)

Game 45; Pens vs. Rangers

Doc Emrick with his best Errey impression, reflecting upon the chemistry between Malkin and Crosby:
"You get the feeling that these two could be driving side by side on the Parkway East here in Pittsburgh and know exactly where each other was going without using turn signals."

...and the reply by "Not Edzo" (aka guy with horrible Boston accent):
"Yeah, but they'd be doing it at 90 miles per hour!"

Game 44; Pens vs. Recchin' Ball

Steiggy: "...with one of those rollover saves..."
Errey: "Is that like an IRA or something? Roll it...roll over. I'm just trying to help you out here Steiggy..."
(this is a candidate for quote of the year...)


Errey: "Let's go back to the spin-a-rella. Are you killing me?" (Two errors in two sentences. I love it.)
Steiggy: "Spin-a-rella?"
Errey: "Aw yeah. Spin-a-rella, Steiggy!"

Game 43; Pens vs. Bolts

"Steiggy! Those pajamas! They...they were undressed right there!"


"These guys never come off the ice. They've got oxygen tanks on 'em!"


On Errey being traded away from the 92-93 Pens: "That was a sad day in the Errey household, I'll tell you that. They never won another cup after I left...but I'm back!"


So wait...Letang is like...liquid gel?


"You wanna be active in your box"


"And who's got a longer stick than Jordan Staal?"


"He had a big yawning net with the puck caught by a big wide open yawning glove"


"Ty Conklin must be sleeping with horseshoes!"


On Jarkko:"Beauty, eh? He's a hoser!"


On Scotty Bowman: "...and he looks TREMENDOUS." (As Sean points out: "Yes, the short, chubby, bald Scotty Bowman.")


Steiggy: "It tells you what kind of guy Gonchar is."

Errey: "Yeah, a rich one! When is he taking us to dinner?"

"Did you see the way Sid pulled away from Andre Roy? He just did the limbo right past him!"

Special thanks to Nick and Sean for this post for catching a lot of quotes that I missed tonight. I'll tell ya, Steiggy. I'm so desensitized that a lot them skip right by me!


Edit: a few more comments...

Anyone notice how they kept calling Ramo, "Romo?" Man am I sick of the NFL. And I can't even escape it!

Also, why was Errey so upset that Malkin didn't pass it to Crosby on the empty netter? He gained the center line, had a shot, and took it. We always criticize the team for unncessary passes, and that would've been one. I understand Crosby had a point streak and everything, but it really was the smart play...

Game 42; Pens vs. Panthers (reprise)

"Low jack...isn't that something you have in your car so you can find it when it's stolen?"

Game 41; Pens vs. Panthers

Errey between the benches...I love how he talks about Crosby as if he's not literally one foot to his right...


Steiggy: "Ruutu falls down. He's been all over the ice tonight."
Errey: "hahahahaha. Literally!"


"Vokoun has faced so many shots this season he's losing all his hair!"


Steiggy: "Conklin isn't the prettiest of goalies in the league..."
Errey: "Surely you don't mean physically, Steiggy."


"I never thought about it before Steiggy, but 'soleil' is French for 'sun,' so this is an appropriate city for Salei to be playing for." (I feel as though I must point out that Salei is from Russia. Also...what?)


I take severe issue with Errey and Steiggy questioning the delay of game call against Vokoun. It was a textbook delay of game call regardless of whether or not Ruutu was nearby. Goalies cannot freeze the puck outside of the crease. They'll generally let it go if it's remotely near the crease, but Vokoun was at least 10 feet outside the crease. That's a call that has to be made (I'd say the same thing had the Pens been called).

Game 40; Pens vs. Leafs

Steiggy: "Gary Robert is out with a broken leg."
Errey: "That's it? That's all that's keeping him out?"


"Look at the blood coming down Tucker's face! I'll tell ya, that was Dancing with the Stars right there!"


I love that Errey demanded and subsequently received a punch total from the Ruutu/Tucker fight. Then Steiggy proclaimed it "one of the best fights ever in a Penguins uniform."


"It's a face only a mother could love, Steiggy!" re: Ruutu post-fight.


"That'll be great for us too, Steiggy. We can double dip! Watch this game, call it. Then go watch the Steelers. That'll be fun for us."


Wait...did Steiggy just invite Errey over to his house tomorrow to watch the World Juniors Canada-US Semi-final game or did I just imagine that happened?


"If Orpik gets a goal tonight we'll know the stars are aligned!"

Game 39; Winter Classic

So being at this game, I didn't get any good commentary action. However, the trip itself provided more than enough. So in lieu of the genius of commentators, let's just roll with what we got from around Buffalo and staying in the same hotel as the Pens...

Michel Therrien, in the hotel elevator, as we're going out for New Years. This comes after Nick asked him if he was going bar hopping: "No...No. There are a lot of good bar in the area."

Lindsay to Gary Roberts upon seeing him on crutches: "I feel sad for you." (Judging by the look on his face, Gary Roberts doesn't understand what the word "sad" means)

Random girl right before midnight, outdoors in Buffalo, upon learning we were Pens fans: "That makes me so mad I just want to shake a baby!"

Best Pens jerseys seen at the game:
#2 Jimmy Paek
#66 God

# of accidents seen on the way back driving through a snowstorm: 14.5

Game 38; Pens vs. Sabres

I missed a majority of this game and didn't get anything good from what I did see.

I'm losing a step here...